Apricot Cheesecake Bars, almost as tasty as Tits n’ Ass

I LOVE cheesecake… voluptuous thighs, full round breasts and a gently swaying bouncing ass. The dessert is great too! Starting with the graham cracker crust and the perfect cracker to butter ratio. Next, the filling should be fluffy and creamy but not overly sweet. To me, cheesecake should have a bit of a tang to it. That “tang” usually comes from a sour cream topping or sour cream in the cream cheese filling itself. I decided to get my tang in two ways, one being sour cream and the other a fresh apricot lemon compote.

You will need the following:

  • 2 sleeves graham crackers, about 18 rectangles
  • 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
  • Coarse salt
  • 1 1/2 sticks salted butter, melted
  • 4 apricots, pitted and chopped
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon lemon zest
  • 2-8oz packages cream cheese, room temperature
  • 1/2 cup sour cream, room temperature
  • 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 2 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a food processor, place graham crackers, 2 tablespoons sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt until crumbs form and are the consistency of sand. Transfer to a medium bowl and stir in melted butter until crumbs are moistened. Wipe processor bowl clean. With a flat-bottomed 1-cup measure or glass, press crumbs evenly into a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Bake until crust is firm, 15 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack. Reduce heat to 325 degrees.

  2. In a small saucepan, bring apricots, 1/4 cup sugar, and pinch of salt to a boil over medium-high, stirring, until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat and simmer, stirring frequently, about 10 minutes. In food processor, puree apricot mixture, lemon juice, and lemon zest.

  3. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat cream cheese and sour cream on medium until smooth. Add 3/4 cup sugar and beat until smooth. Add vanilla and pinch of salt and beat to combine. Add eggs and beat until smooth, scraping down bowl as needed. Pour cream-cheese mixture into cooled crust and smooth top.

  4. Randomly drop small spoonfuls apricot puree on cream-cheese mixture. With a skewer or thin-bladed knife, gently swirl puree. Bake just until set, about 25 minutes. Let cool slightly in pan on rack, then refrigerate until chilled and firm before cutting into squares, 2 hours.





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