I know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, but in my house in comes in a size 12. Save for a few years of a brutal lifestyle in my early twenties, I’ve always been voluptuous. I’m a curvy girl who isn’t afraid to be sexy. However, there have been times in my life that sex appeal was not anywhere near the top of the list and was replaced with survival. It was during these times that I was most sensitive to what others thought of me. I was SO focused on “doing mom” right that I forgot to focus on “doing me”. Never the less, it’s my own job to make sure that I feel good, but there are things that can compound the negative feelings, one of those is having smoke blown up your ass by a naturally skinny broad. So, I’ve compiled a list of 5 things that no skinny chick should EVER utter to a curvy mama.

1. “You should just….” Ok, starting a sentence with those words is almost never gonna come across right. If you’ve EVER struggled with weight, you’d know that you don’t “just” anything. The choice of that word totally marginalizes the extreme effort that it actually takes to lose weight.
“You should just start juicing and going to hot yoga!” Or “You should just make it a priority”. Ummm…. Yeah, bitch. You should “just” eat another cookie with a Pepsi chaser and shut up with your good metabolism and genetics.

2. “I lost my baby weight with Anderson in a couple weeks!” Thanks, friend… Thanks for that. Yes, I am well aware that my child is three and when it comes to “baby weight” I’m still packin’. In fact, saying the words “baby weight” when not referring to the actual size of my child is damn near laughable! Let’s face it, I was a two car garage before pregnancy and will never… Ever…. Be a size four. I am completely ok with that. Much like you went from rail, to rail who swallowed a mellon, I went from curvy to curvy who swallowed, well… Everything. So, spare me the timeline it took you to go from perfectly pregnant back to perfect.

3. “Let’s go shopping together!” Really? For what, shoes and jewelry? See, here’s the deal, you’re gonna go shop in size tiny and I’ll be over here in the almost fashionable “plus sizes” (screw whomever came up with that label too!). We aren’t shopping together because you are my friend, I love you and I don’t want to punch you when you ask me if those size fours make your butt look big. Likewise, I’m not interested in the look of pity that you’ll inevitably have upon my exit when you’ve heard me sobbing in the dressing room. Seriously… Let’s not.

4. “I completely understand” SPARE ME! Cause seriously, you do not. You can’t possibly! You eat doughnuts and Fanta for breakfast, you can literally wear ANY fashion trend and you have never counted your calories and made the choice to skip dinner because a glass of wine will save the lives of your family and that’s all the calories you’ve got left. You have never laid down and broke a sweat JUST to get a pair of jeans on. You have never cried silently in the dressing room because there isn’t a bathing suit in the world that you would wear in public. So, yeah… You don’t understand.

5. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” Ok, really? First, don’t patronize me. I know I’m fat. I know that, because I have a mirror AND a scale! You telling me that I’m not is stupid. So, don’t. Second, saying “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” Makes me feel somehow, that you have equated size with beauty. As if the two were mutually exclusive. I am indeed, fat and I am likewise, beautiful.

Listen, ladies… I love you. Big or small, short or tall. Beauty comes in all sizes. Next time you see that fat girl running and bouncing all over the place, or if you see her sweating in the gym, just remember that she’s got an uphill battle to fight and it was hard for her to decide to go to war at all. Remember that she doesn’t understand your struggles and that hers are the polar opposite. Encourage her and be loving. After all, the most beautiful girl in the world, is the one who loves herself.