What comes to mind when you hear the term “mama’s boy”? Is it a sissy still clinging to an apron string? Maybe it conjures up an image of a crybaby on the ball field? Well, I’m raising two mama’s boys and I’d like to explain why that’s a GOOD thing.
For starters, who better to teach a boy how to treat women than his mom? Seriously, I am the first woman in their lives. I give them everything, from day one. I love them more than I love myself, so much so that I refuse to let them disrespect me. I am their practice woman. I am their first experience at how to treat every woman in their lives to come. Learning to respect me, is the very foundation on which they will build relationships throughout their lives.
I will always require a kiss and a hug. Look, it doesn’t have to be a grandiose gesture but, women are affectionate creatures and by letting my sons know how important daily affection can be, I am not only keeping us close but am teaching them that affection keeps the humanity in relationships, through the roughest of times. Even when I am a nagging mom, I am still worthy of your love and attention.
I will teach them to respect my space and my body. I am a “naked” person. I will get ready in the morning in bra and underwear and I not think a thing about it. Likewise, my boys are not afraid to run around in their undies or less! However, they both know that we always dress appropriately in public and that my body is my business. I think it’s pretty natural for little boys to grab their moms inappropriately at an early age. I mean, we WERE just “lunch” after all. Teaching them that the body is beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of is important, it is equally important for them to understand that just because it’s out there doesn’t make it “their business”.
I am helping them realize that there is no such thing as “women’s work”. Nope, that shit doesn’t exist… It’s as mythological as a damned unicorn. There is just “work”, life is full of it and it just needs to get done. A good partner will do their share regardless of gender.
Last but certainly not least, I will teach them that someday, I will not come first. That space will eventually be filled by their wives. By then, I can look at them with pride as they treat the woman in their life with respect and will require it for themselves as well. When they are the kind of man that mothers want for their daughters, when they have grown into themselves as fully capable, emotionally available, respectful, thoughtful and nurturing men… Only then will I know that my job was done well. It is at that point that I’ll know that they posses the tools to be real men… Mama’s boys.