Sometimes you have to try hard to not give a shit. In this age of instant message and ultra sharing, we are subject to the gamut of opinions from well, everyone. We are finding out things about people we once respected that make us wonder how our judgement could have been SO bad. Scrolling through life we find ourselves taking pause at things that shock us to know about our fellow man. In this cyber-reality, we MUST begin to find our balance. We must choose our battles and hopefully choose wisely. In order to do this, we’ve got to learn to do pirouettes on the fine line that separates fury and simply not giving a shit. Yep, that is the art of not caring. Why would this be classified as an art? Because there are subtle nuances that require thought and creativity. Simply not caring isn’t enough. You’ve got to let things go without becoming apathetic. This is hard work! Apathy is the worst… don’t allow yourself to go that far but, for the love of Pete, we do not have to fight every battle! I am speaking to myself as much as I am speaking to any of you. I scroll through my feed and have to FORCE myself to pass by some things that blow my mind! Bigotry, chauvinism, ignorance… Oh my! It would actually be easier for me to pop in, say what’s on my mind and bounce. It’s actually painful at times to keep scrolling, but the after math is not worth it nine times out of ten. Arguing with strangers about the world’s injustice is EXHAUSTING! I’m completely guilty in getting caught up in an argument that ignites passion in me, but I doubt I’ve ever changed a mind. I get the benefit of other people’s perspectives sometimes but, mostly I just feel like I see their “ugly” shining right through.
I don’t just mean social media either. The art of not caring is something that we should practice in other areas of our lives as well. I work in the creative field. My work is subjective. Meaning, what appeals to me may be completely off-putting to another set of eyes. How do you argue with that? Sometimes I get completely incensed at the mere hint of criticism. Then, I have to take a step back and think about it. Do I feel SO connected to this project that I am willing to go to the mat for it? Is the opposing opinion going to affect my livelihood in any way? Did I do my best? How I determine my reaction is dependent upon the answers to those questions. That is me, practicing the art of not caring.
In my home life, I often find that I am criticizing myself over tasks that I didn’t complete, things I’ve yet to accomplish, the way I handled a dispute with the husband or kiddos… So much negative self-chatter. Again, I need to ask a few questions. Did I waste time or did I spend time in a differently and equally valid way? Am I headed down a path that I believe in? Am I doing my best? If my answers to these questions are positive, I need to forgive my seemly minor indiscretions and move the fuck on!
Practicing this subtle and oft discarded form of art, will bring you peace. The fact that we are fighting over the way OTHER PEOPLE live their lives is a prime example of how we could and should care less! Minding our own yards is FAR more important yet, we have no shortage of stones to throw. Ask yourself a question or so… Is that person and the way they live hurting you? Do their actions put your livelihood or liberties at risk? Does their behavior infringe upon the rights of others? If not, maybe you should care less.
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Very perspective. It is so much easier to avoid unnecessary conflict and be happy than to try to recapture lost happy.