I’m a communicator. Plain and simple, it’s both a gift and a curse. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Do I ever say the wrong thing? Of course, but I didn’t say it behind your back and I wasn’t passive aggressive in my delivery. Nothing is left in question! This is what I see happen time and time again. Somebody has an issue with another person but somebody #1 doesn’t like confrontation. So, they drop a hint to somebody #2. That doesn’t work because #2, you see, doesn’t even know there’s a problem! Suddenly #1 becomes indignant and starts telling other people their issue with #2 hoping that it might get back to them. When and if it finally comes to the attention of #2 things might be completely over blown and ridiculous by then. This could result in hurt feelings, loss of trust and friendships.
It’s the same in the workplace. Communication is key! Your department has information to help another department achieve their goal. You are busy, they are busy, you want them to do their job and you don’t want to be the one to hold their hand so you don’t start the conversation… but you are the holder of the information! You hold back communication and BOOM! Project delayed.
Likewise, in your relationship, you drop subtle hints and say things to yourself and your friends like “he should know me well enough by now” or “I shouldn’t have to tell her”. Ummm… Why? Why shouldn’t you have to tell her? Say what you want! Waiting for somebody to “get it” might often result in feelings of resentment and anguish.
Spare yourselves, people! Put it all out there on front street! Use your words and mean it! Own that shit! I don’t know if there are any real numbers to back this statement up, but I bet nine times out of ten, if communication was improved the situation would benefit. Being passive aggressive is SO played out! I would rather you be aggressive aggressive or just move along little doggy! Who has time for that? In effort to avoid confrontation, people will often spend an enormous amount of time running through the possibilities, IN THEIR HEAD, of what the other person might feel, think or say. By that time, you’ve already set yourself up for a situation who’s validity is completely unknown. Do yourself and those who interact with you a favor. Start looking for the gumption to communicate. Take baby steps if need be, but try it on for size… The truth will indeed, set you free. Swearing Mom out.