Over the weekend I came across this image of Ben Carson and his wife.The caption read “She’s no first lady” and had a side by side comparison of our POTUS and the stunning Michelle Obama. I think our first lady is wonderful. Well spoken, educated, full of heart and… gorgeous. Good for her! Here’s the issue, do we not have enough to say about Dr Carson without bashing his wife for the way she looks or dresses? This woman, who had a TRIPLE major… At Yale. This woman who has a masters in business and also happens to be an accomplished violinist… And we’re gonna talk about her shoes???

Then I went one step further and thought about what people would say about the attire of the husband of a female president. I couldn’t really come up with a scenario in my head that seemed real. The fact is, “they” wouldn’t say anything. Nobody would care “who” he was wearing and nobody would expect him to throw soirees and be the perfectly coiffed arm candy that we seem to expect of our first ladies.

I have to be honest when I say how fucking over it I am. This ridiculous standard we have for women in general but especially women in the public eye. If you dare to be a female in politics and if you dare to call yourself a feminist, you will definitely find yourself on the receiving end of criticism that has nothing to do with what you are bringing to the political discussion. God forbid you are unattractive or, GASP. dowdy! How dare you, ugly woman! How dare you push your man hating, lesbian agenda into our (masculine) politics! How dare you have a voice and how dare you be mousy. Put some lipstick on for Pete’s sake. How dare you, Cecile Richards (as lovely as you are), make a salary of more than 500k! You MUST not have earned that legitimately and we, the men of Republican congress, are going to call you out on it! It’s gross, really. The same line of questioning has not and would not have been used when questioning men.

Even outside of politics, we see a once hard bodied starlet gain a bit of weight or fail to shed a few baby pounds fast enough and suddenly her curves come into question. Suddenly the media is latching on to her weight with the fervor of the baby at her breast. Even in our real lives we get angry and somebody who is being a bitch, becomes a fat bitch or an ugly bitch… I’m here to ask, can a bitch just be a bitch? Can we judge Ben Carson on things that matter? Let’s talk about how he feels about the fed. Let’s ask him what he plans to do about the continuous mass shootings in our country. Let’s talk about the fact that he, as a doctor, does not value institutions that provide health care for our nation’s women. Let’s leave his wife, the way she looks and her wardrobe out of it.

Swearing Mom out.